Body Image and Turner Syndrome

Body Image and Turner Syndrome

Comparisons

I am 4ft 10in tall, overweight, and I have been for most of my life. I have a sister who is two years younger than me, and she is 5ft 6in and has always been skinny. Anyone who has siblings knows that you are constantly compared to them. Most of the time, I didn't mind it. I knew that I had strengths that she did not, and she had different strengths then I did. However, there were times that I was very jealous of her. 

I played basketball for my local rec league when I was young, and I loved it. It was my favorite sport, and at that point, my height wasn't that much of a disadvantage. When I got to middle school, I decided to try out for the school teams. I think that was the first time I realized that there were girls trying out who were almost a foot taller than me. I did not make either of the teams, even though most of my friends did. I was upset, but decided that if I didn't have the height advantage I would just need to work on my dribbling and ball handling skills. I worked very hard over the year, and tried out again as a seventh grader. I had improved a lot, and was hopeful, but was cut again. I was devastated, but kept a good attitude while in the locker room after tryouts. The next day, I got called down to the main office. I walked in, and one of the coaches was waiting for me. She told me that she was very impressed with my attitude the night before, and asked if I wanted to be the manager. I said yes for two reasons, 1. I wanted to be a part of the team, and 2. I was not even 4ft 10in yet, and the basketball coach was easily over 6 ft tall, towering over me. There was no way I was saying no. I didn't even bother trying out my eighth grade year. I knew if I did make a team, it would be the B team with a bunch of sixth and seventh graders, not any of my friends. However, the coach once again backed me into a corner and towered over me, asking me to be the manager again. I enjoyed those years as the manager, but missed playing. Once I got into high school, I joined the swim team instead of playing basketball. My sister, on the other hand, played basketball all through middle school and high school, and was very good at it.

Being overweight and on the swim team in high school does not sound like a good time to anyone. During my freshman year, I did take extra precautions to avoid being seen in my bathing suit. I always had my towel right by the side of the pool, ready to wrap around me as soon as I got out. I also always brought clothes to wear on the deck in between events during meets. The locker room was also a tricky situation. It's not easy to change into a bathing suit and maintain modesty. Most girls would just change in the locker room, not thinking twice about it. I would go into the bathroom, and change in one of the stalls. I was one of the only people to do that, but I didn't care. However, being on the swim team was probably the best thing for me to have done to improve the view I had of my body. The swim team was an incredibly tight-knit group, and I noticed there were other girls who were overweight on the team. By my senior year, I was a captain and just as comfortable changing in the locker room as all of the other girls. Covering myself up was not the first thing I thought off after my races. I would actually look at my times, and wait until I was dry before putting my clothes on over my suit.  I would never have gained that confidence in myself if I had played basketball. I was jealous of my sister at the time, but now I think that getting cut form the team was one of the best things to happen to me. 

"You Remind Me of Fat Amy"

Even if my confidence level had increased, there were still moments when I felt insecure. Once I went to college, I was also on that school's swim team. A few months into the season, there is a big championship meet that is three days long. Our team was staying in a hotel. I am a very quiet person, so I had not gotten to know the girl I was rooming with very well. We were in a room, watching the movie Pitch Perfect getting ready to go to bed. For those of who who haven't seen the movie, Rebel Wilson plays a character who calls herself Fat Amy, so that people don't call her that behind her back. In one of the scenes in the movie, all of the characters are making confessions when Fat Amy admits that her true name is actually Fat Patricia. While we were watching the movie, the girl I was rooming with looked over at me and said, "You know, you remind me of Fat Amy". I was taken aback for a moment, and didn't know what to say. I figured I had two options. I could either get offended, and have the entire weekend of rooming with her be awkward, or I could take a note from Fat Amy and make a joke out of it. I decided to make a joke, so I looked over at her, and in an Australian accent similar to Rebel Wilson's said, "Actually, it's Fat Patricia". I knew she hadn't meant to offend me, and we are actually good friends now. I think that my confidence in myself allowed me to make the joke, and not get offended. One of the things I've learned from my sister is that even people who are tall, skinny, and beautiful have insecurities about their bodies. That's just the way our society is. You can either buy into these insecurities and let it effect you, or choose to accept yourself for who you are and be confident in yourself.